If you've never felt seen, you can't see or value the self.

When you have been raised to believe that what you feel, think, need, and want are unimportant, you develop into someone who hides the self, people-pleases, lacks boundaries, is often depressed, angry, anxious, and has few skills to change their lives.

 “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious.”

Carl Jung

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• Unresolved childhood trauma impacts the developing brain. When you have been raised in an unpredictable and invalidating home your brain is wired for survival. As a result, maladaptive coping skills become a way of life. Codependency is rooted in shame, abandonment trauma and the fear of being rejected. 
• As a wounded adult child of two alcoholic parents, I know first hand what it feels like to grow up feeling unworthy, unseen, and invalidated. Today, I work to develop resources to help those suffering from the crippling effects of childhood trauma learn to heal their lives. 
• Those of us who are wounded believe we are unworthy. When we BELIEVE we are unworthy, we see threats everywhere. We can become reactive, anxious, depressed, codependent, and often we attract people into our lives that mirror our childhood experiences. We never feel good enough and no matter how much we do, we never feel like we do enough.
• Unresolved trauma impacts our work and family relationships. When our brain is wired for survival, our mind operates on high-alert. Rather than life unfolding joyously, we struggle to feel comfortable in our own skin. 
• When we are unaware of our sensitized stress response system, we are easily triggered, flustered, and overwhelmed.  As we excavate the hidden traumas and faulty self-conceptions, we unburden the Inner Child from self-sabotaging behaviors. 
• As we raise our level of self-awareness, learn new coping skills, and heal the trauma responsible for our faulty subconscious programming, we are able to increase our ability to deal with daily stressors. We are less anxious at work, at home, in our relationships, and in our own skin. 
• Those of us who are highly reactive or who have a difficult time managing our emotions are often dealing with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. As a result, we may have a difficult time dealing with life stressors. Unlike those who come from safe, nurturing, and emotionally validating homes, we are easily triggered and fear change. Our brains are often in a constant state of fight or flight. This is not our fault, but we must make every attempt at learning proper coping skills so our lives can become more manageable as well as enjoyable. 

If you worry more about what others think about you than what you think about you...If you struggle with loving your self...If you tend to put others needs before your own needs...If you feel invisible...If you worry you are not good enough...If you stay in unhealthy relationships...If you do not know how to feel or process your feelings, please know there is hope.

Codependency is often a symptom of an arrested childhood. With the right knowledge, guidance, tools, and community support, unconscious codependent thinking can be incredibly corrected. 

When we BELIEVE we are not enough, we must learn to reframe this belief so we can live life BELIEVING we are enough. When our INNER narrative changes, our OUTER world must shift. 

My life's work is dedicated to helping people who have been wounded develop practical tools and life skills to help them face the fears that have shamed them to the point of being unable to process the trauma that has been keeping them stuck in reactivity and seeking validation from outside of the self. 

My life is proof that you can heal from trauma, trauma bonds, faulty unconscious programming, reactivity, anxiety, depression, codependency, and symptoms of CPTSD.  As a Life Coach, bestselling author, and workshop facilitator, I am honored to be able to help people reprogram their minds so to manifest the types of work and family experiences they truly deserve. 

It is my honor to offer online programs, books, workshops and live events to help people learn to Master their lives by learning to Master their minds and emotions. 

When we are codependent, we are not independent.  As codependents we tend to attach and in the attaching to some external relationship, person, or experience, we detach from the self. 

Codependency is a faulty way of viewing the self as well as the world.  The lens that we view life through is tainted but we don't know it. All human beings are born asleep, but again, we don't know it.  What has been impressed upon the subconscious mind while we were children and in hypnotic brainwave states has become the maps we use to navigate our adult lives.  If our childhoods were chaotic, unsafe, and unpredictable, as adults we attract people, situations and experiences that mirrors what took place in our lives when we were children.

• What we believe we see. If we have been taught to believe we are unworthy or that life is unsafe, we will live our lives  waiting for the next shoe to drop.
• When our lives have been unpredictable and we have been conditioned to suppress and deny our emotions, as adults we may seek to CONTROL others as well as things and situations that are outside our ability to control.
• When we are codependent, we fail to set personal as well as external boundaries. We may live in a perpetual state of powerlessness, and seeking to fend off hidden shame. 
• Gaslighting is a form of psychological and emotional abuse aimed at gaining control and power over a victim. Many abused adult children have suffered from gaslighting as well as other forms of abuse. Gaslighting causes victims to doubt their reality. 
• Children who have grown up in homes that were abrasive, dysfunctional, hostile, emotionally abusive, and alike, are more prone to depression, anxiety, reactivity, and codependency. 

As adults, we owe it to ourselves to awaken from the dream state that codependency is, so we can finally live the authentic lives every human being has the potential to live.